Wed, Sept 1st, 2010 - Down Day in Ethiopia

Michele and I woke up to Abera making noises in his crib around 6AM, so we eagerly brought him into bed with us.  We took some pictures of the three of us in bed, similar to the ones we did with Mehandis the first morning that he spent with us.  After some fun pictures, we fed him, and got ourselves ready for the day. 

We went downstairs to eat breakfast, however the dinner the night before (the hamburger and fries) did not agree with me, so I was quite bloated and did not eat much.  I did let out some really good burps all morning long though, but they added little relief. 

After breakfast all of us piled back into the van and drove over to the care center to meet with the nannies and social workers.  Our agency wanted us to spend some time with them to ask questions and learn more how they were cared for over the past couple of months.   So we were brought back to the big room where we had the farewell ceremony the day earlier and met with one of Abera's main nannies and a social worker, who worked as translator.  The nanny told us how she liked how Abera looked into her eyes, she said they went right to her heart.  She said he was her favorite in the room (how could he not be but we did not ask others in our group with the same nanny to see if she said the same thing).  She told us he is easy going, does not cry much and is a good boy who is growing really well.  We then got a nice picture with the nanny with our family.

We stayed at the guest house most of the morning, playing with our kids while waiting for all of the families to meet with the nannies and social workers.  We were told we were going to be meeting with the doctor but this never happened.  We figured Abera was doing well, so this was not a big deal.

Around noon we got back into the van and headed to the guest house for lunch.  Again I did not eat because I was still bloated (I got others worried thinking I had other stomach issues and soon they might be getting it too).   After lunch Michele helped organize a shopping trip to the Hilton in the afternoon, convincing the house leader that they needed to go "check their flight status" and the van driver should take them to the Hilton to do.  So about half of the group left while I stayed back with Abera.

I tried to get him to nap in our room but he would not relax enough to fall asleep.  It was a really nice sunny day, so I brought a blanket, Abera, and my Obama book outside to read and let Abera play.  Well I laid him down in the sun and in a minute he was fast asleep.  This gave me a great hour to sit outside, read and relax, something I rarely ever take the time to do.  It was a great afternoon.  While reading, one of the house workers noticed Abera's blanket and thought he needed something more comfortable, so they brought me a much bigger and softer blanket for him.  So I switched him and he snuggled in and continued to sleep.  It was sweet of the house workers to do this (but in my defense I think the blanket that he was on was sufficient :) ).

The ladies got back from shopping around 4PM and we basically relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, doing nothing exciting.  We talked outside with our other housemates, played in the dining area with our kids and relaxed in our room.  Around 6PM we went downstairs for dinner and I had a great conversation with Mike and Cindy's parents.  Mike & Cindy live in Dubai and had adopted a child a couple of years earlier.  Cindy's parents are world travelers, so it was not a big deal for them to travel to Ethiopia.  They live in Washington, near Seattle, and they told me about some of their adventures (including sleeping in the desert with an armed bodyguard).  They were an interesting pair and provided interesting conversation.

We put Abera down to bed around 7:30 and we read in bed until around 9 when we got up to go downstairs to eat some cookies and get something to drink.  We had a nice quiet conversation in the dining hall, then we went back to our room and were asleep by 10:30.

Bountiful Fall Fun!

We traveled to our friends' home this past Saturday, in Kohler, to visit their local pumpkin farm.  The Loest's treated us to some delicious breakfast treats and savory samplings as we waited for all to gather at their home.  While we waited the two babies, Abera and Emily, got to get to know one another :)

Abera sure seemed happy with the introduction of his new girl pal!

He also needed a bit more support sitting up than her, given Emily being a month older at 7 months and he at 6 months... along with his catching up on overall trunk strength.

Emily actually reached in and went for a baby kiss - or slobber as the case may have it.

Abera did not offer a reciprocal smooch though.  Sorry Emily!

Then he took a dive for older sister Ella... we will keep working on those sitting skills.  Does this count as achieving rolling over though?

The farm was family run and just down the road from the Loest's.  It had a hay ride, petting zoo (but we were cautioned that to keep away from the biting pig!), pumpkin patch, corn maze and pony rides.  Mehandis was excited to get a chance to take his first pony ride.

The pony was named Bronco... but fortunately did not buck.  Mehandis was pretty thrilled with the ride.

Handi also fed the goats.  And the goats were pretty close to feeding on his hand when they chomped down on the ice cream cone.  Guess they were still hungry.

I love little Lukas as the pumpkin above!  Ella and Mehandis took the scarecrow roles.

The four of us loaded up on the hayride with the rest of the gang.

Sugar and Spice were pretty impressive horses... they followed the drivers directions to a tee (we noted at the time that the horses listened better than some of our 3 year-olds!).

It was fun having my parents join us for the weekend and ride north.  Don't think they bought a pumpkin but pretty sure they got plenty of photos of our little pumpkins and the patch :)

Bringing Home Abera by Michael: Tuesday - Embassy and Farewell Ceremony

Tuesday, August 30th

Michele and I woke up around 6AM to the sound of a dog barking outside.  It is something that you hear occasionally at night in Ethiopia and a couple of dogs lived somewhere close to our building.  We got up and enjoyed a tasty pancake breakfast.  Today is a big day, it is the one official act that we need to do while in Ethiopia; go the the US embassy, answer questions about the adoption, get approval and receive the paperwork to bring home Abera. 



Doing our best to look presentable for the Embassy




Michele and our friend Danielle prettied up pre-Embassy



The adoptive parents, all dressed up for our embassy appointment, piled into the van around 8:30.  We stopped at the guest house to pick up the kids and then drove on to the embassy.  This was the first time we were able to drive through the heart of the city in the middle of the day.  It seems 90% of the cars on the roads are taxi vans that are full of people.  I have no idea how their taxi system works but with how many people are in them, there certainly is a rhyme and reason.  Many of them seem to have two people working the taxi, a driver and a person standing up on the side of the van trying to get new riders.  The traffic was slow as the roads were very full.  There are numerous roundabouts at the major intersections, which makes for interesting and tight driving.  We had a great driver and he handled the traffic well.

As we neared the embassy, we saw a bunch of kids and adults selling flowers.  We soon saw why they were selling flowers, a large university was having a graduation and we saw all of the graduates standing outside in their cap and gowns.  It was a nice site to see with all of their smiling faces.

Right near the embassy there is a city park for kids that is about two city blocks long.  I remember seeing this park last time and what struck us then and again now is that no one is at this park.  This is by far the nicest park I have seen in the country and it is strange to see it so empty.  It is surrounded by fencing and there is a charge to enter it, but from what we have heard, it is not expensive.  But it must be expensive enough to keep most people out.  I think it is mainly used guest by foreigners and the upper class.  The grandparents who were staying in the guest house took their grand-daughter there while we were at the embassy and they only saw one other family at the park. 

We arrived at the embassy around 9:30.  The US embassy is a sight to see.  Driving around the city we were able to see a number embassies but none look like the fortress that is the US embassy.  The embassy looks like a bunker.  It provides a good perspective of how we have to protect ourselves in other countries and provides a reminder to what happened to the embassies in Kenya and Tanzania in the recent past.  The group that we traveled with, during their first trip, had someone take a picture of the embassy as they drove past.  A car shot out of the embassy, tracked down the van and jumped into the van.  The embassy employee became more relaxed when he saw 12 American faces looking very scared.  They did take the person who took the picture back to the embassy, erased the pictured and proceeded to question them.  Certainly a memorable experience.   

We parked on the other side of the street, piled out of our van and worked to cross and enter the security area.  There were a number of kids, knowing that Americans show up in this area on a regular basis, were there trying to get some money from us.  Soon we were going through security and walked to a building where we meet with the embassy agent who approves the paperwork.  We sat in a waiting area on the first floor with other people who were at the embassy for immigration and other needs.  We were the only Americans in the waiting area.  We spread out in the waiting room and cared for our kids.  We were taken one by one for our meetings.  It seemed that we had to wait 30 minutes before the first family was called and a new family was called about twenty minutes.  There was a TV with armed forces programming and a play area for the kids.  So the name of the game was to sit, make small talk with the others and keep your kid happy.

We were the third family called and we walked up the stairs with our agency's lawyer, who stood next to us the entire time to make sure the proceeding went to plan.  The embassy lady was good looking, professional Caucasian American who was very kind to us.  We are separated by glass and had to speak though a microphone.  She first had to comment that she got a kick out of Abera's faces.  She pointed out the distinct different expressions that he had with his birth certificate, his social report and his passport picture.  She asked the standard questions and everything went to plan.  Our meeting was about five minutes and went smoothly.  She approved the paperwork and our agency lawyer took the paperwork.



First Mom and Son picture - Same spot as we took Handi's



Now with our official paperwork done, we were relieved and that made the waiting for the rest of the group easier.  We changed Abera's diaper, fed him and relaxed.  Finally, around 12:45, all the families had met with the representative and we left.  It was now raining and our van was on the other side of the street.  Some kids came out with umbrellas to help but I did not have any money on me to accept their help.  Once everyone was back in the van, we made our way back through traffic to the care center.  We dropped off the kids for one last time and drove back to the guest house for lunch.

We enjoyed a nice lunch, got our room ready and left to go back to the care center around 2:30 for the farewell ceremony.  The farewell ceremony is the unofficial transfer of the kids from the agency to the families.  We were brought to the big room in the downstairs for the ceremony.  The agency brought down the older kids (1-3 years old) who lived in the house for the cheering section for the ceremony.   

When the adoptive kids were carried down the stairs, the kid cheering section all started clapping in unison.  The kids were wearing traditional Ethiopian outfits and were carried by nannies who cared for them in the rooms that they have been living.  After all of the kids were downstairs, the lead social worker lead off the ceremony with a nice speech about how this is a sad and happy day for them.  Happy that the kids now have a new loving family and sad that they no longer get to care for these kids.  Then the kids are handed over one by one to their new parents.  There was one toddler in the group who lived with the other older kids who were the cheering section.  When they said her name, the kids went crazy.  It was really sweet how they celebrated for their friend. 

After the exchanges, we were asked to speak up and give any feedback that we wanted to provide.  Patrick spoke up and gave some nice comments about how thankful we were for how they cared for the kids.  After a group prayer, to remember the kids by, they called each family up one by one and put the kids handprints into a book.  We did this with Mehandis but it was put onto a wall.  Unlike Mehandis, Abera did great with this and his handprint was almost perfect (Mehandis had a smudge on the wall).  To close the ceremony, the staff brought out a huge cake and drinks.  During a bit of downtime, the cheering section of kids, broke out into song and dance.  They did a great job and it was really cute with one of the kids leading the song and dance. 

The party ended around 4:30 and we left the care center, this time with kids in tow for good.  Around 5:30, we had guests come to meet with us.  Our friends, Paul and Courtney, met a couple when they traveled to Ethiopia when they adopted their daughter.  This couple, Jerry and Cristy Shannon, also adopted a child.  The Shannon's, now a family of six with the oldest kid around 7, decided to move to Ethiopia and start a non-profit.  They had now been living in Addis Ababa for about seven months.  When Michele had traveled in July, she had spent some time with them when they met her at the hotel that she was staying at.  When they found out we were coming back, they asked if we would bring them some things.  Apparently it is expensive to send American products to Ethiopia.  So their parents sent us a box to bring along with us on our trip.  So we had a Rubbermaid box of stuff that weighed about 49 pounds, one pound less than the maximum for checked bags, that we brought along with us on our trip. 

The Shannon's arrived around 5:45 with their entire family.  They live on the other side of Addis Ababa and do not have a car, taking taxis and walking to get to us.  We brought them up to our room to talk and get to know each other.  They are still working on their Amharic and have been working to get integrated into society.  They do not yet have their plans for their specific non-profit but are getting close to finalizing their plans  We give them tons of credit for following their ambitions.  We had a great visit with them, they have wonderful kids and it was insightful to get perspective of living in Ethiopia from an American's perspective.  They stayed until around 7:30.

After they left, we ate a quick dinner from the kitchen (hamburger and fries) and put Abera down to bed for the first time  When he first put him down, he looked around his crib, crumbled up his forehead and started to cry.  I loved the fact that he took in the situation, realized he was not in a area he was used to, and started to cry.  After a couple of tries of putting him down, he settled in for the night.  We left some lights on and read in bed. 

As usual with the first time you spend the night with your kid, we were sensitive to all of his sounds and we did not know when he would wake up.  Around midnight Abera was making some noises and Michele was sure he was awake, so she jumped up to feed him.  But when we turned the lights on, we found him fast asleep.  Abera ended up sleeping through the first night like a champ, only waking up around 6AM when we woke him up to bring him into bed with us.  That makes us two for two, Mehandis and Abera slept through the first night with us.  It has to be our parenting.   

Monday - Meeting Abera - by Michael

Monday, August 30th - Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

We are still adjusting to our new time zone (8 hours ahead of Milwaukee) and we both were up around 1:30AM.  So we decided to go downstairs to the kitchen and eat leftover coffee cake and drank some water and warm tea.  We had a good conversation about our experience traveling to Hosanna and taking in the trip.  After about 30 minutes we wandered back upstairs to our room, laid in bed listening to our iPod and fell back asleep.

We woke up with a start around 8:00 when one of the workers in the house, thinking we were already up, entered our room to empty a trash can.  Good thing we were not changing in the middle of the room when she just walked in.  Since we were now wide awake, we got ready and went downstairs for breakfast. 

After breakfast we piled into to the van and drove over to the care center (where the kids live) to meet them as the first time as their parents (when Michele and the rest of the group met the kids during their first trip, the parents had not gone through court yet, so the adoption was not yet official).  The only people who had not yet met their kids was me, another dad who had stayed at home with their kids and a couple who were one of the last families to get their referral before the two trip system was implemented.

You can see the care center from the guest house, it is about a 1/4 mile away but there is no direct drivable road to get there.  When we got there one of the nannies that took care of Mehandis was walking in to the care center.  She was the nanny who we have pictured with Mehandis during the entrustment ceremony.  She recognized us and came over to us with a big smile and gave us warm hugs.  Michele had seen her when she was there in July and have her a picture of her and Mehandis. 

The care center, which is new for our agency since we were last in Ethiopia, is a really nice house.  Our guess is that is was a house of an ambassador since there are numerous embassies in the area (I think the Norway embassy is the next property over).  There is a pool outside (no longer used), huge windows, lots of nice detail work along the ceilings and an enormous kitchen.

Our agency films the first-time meetings of the parents with their new kids, so the families are taken one by one.  This was the same as when we met Mehandis but that time it was just two families as the rest of the travel group had not yet arrived.  This time all the families were there, the process took much longer and Michele and I were the last called, Michele blamed our last name.

Finally we were called, we walked up two floors and into the room where Abera was living.  There were 12 kids in this room, all about the same age, in their own small beds that are raised to about waist level.  Abera was the second crib in when you walked in to the room.  The social worker shows you the baby so you know which one is yours.  Michele jumped at the chance to hold him again and her smile brightened the room.  Soon I was able to hold him as well.  Obviously this is a big moment, meeting your son for the first time, but I have a hard time getting too wrapped up in.  It is hard for me to open up so quickly to someone that is a total stranger.  It is great to have the meeting video taped but for me the smiles are kind of forced.  Not that I am not happy, but all I really just want to do is get to know him. 

So our first reactions?  Well Abera was bigger than Michele remember but he looked awfully small and was so light (I was used to Mehandis, about 3 times the weight).  His hair on top stands straight up and has a funny curly-cue to it.  He has lots of facial expressions and really takes in his surroundings, always looking around and checking things out.  He is a cute baby. 

Below is a short video of Abera back at the guest house. 

Soon the film crew was finished taping our meeting and we brought him downstairs and were able to spend about an hour with him.  He tried to move on his stomach and had good kicking legs.  He seemed generally easy going and happy.  The workers came around and it was his feeding time, so we got to feed him some rice cereal and we were happy to see how well he did with it.

It is always fun to see the group of parents with their kids for the first time.  You get to know these people without kids for a day or two then all of a sudden all of them are playing mom and day.  The room was full of babies (and a couple of toddlers) with many happy parents.

After a quick hour, we left to go back to the care center.  Taking advantage of a nice day, Michele, Danielle, Patrick, another couple and I walked back to the guest house.  It is about a 10 minute walk and was a bit muddy.  After a good lunch our agency drove us over to their office building to do some paperwork for our embassy appointment on Tuesday and let us know what CHSFS is doing in Ethiopia.

It is amazing what our agency has accomplished since they started international adoptions in Ethiopia about 9 years ago.  CHSFS is located in Minnesota and handles both international and domestic adoptions  Ethiopia is one of several countries that they work with it is their biggest operation outside of the US.  They have over 400 employees in Ethiopia, run humanitarian projects, a hospital in Addis Ababa and three schools in different parts of the country.  They have ambitious plans for expansion with their humanitarian efforts.  Almost all of the funding for all of this comes from the head office in Minnesota, which comes from the fees that we pay to adopt from Ethiopia.  We are not sure how much of our fees go toward this but if sure seems like a decent percentage. 

It is amazing to think how many people have jobs and how much good is being done because of adoptions in Ethiopia.  You look at all of these workers, from the cleaners and cooks at the guest house, the nannies at the care center and the professional employees in the main office, that is a large amount of employees that are all supported by adoptions.  Add in the outreach  that they do, and it is overwhelming.  Many of the professionals, from the social workers to the film crews to the administators, are educated middle class citizens. It is strange to think about when you are there, these 12 families who are there this week, go a long way to helping support all of these jobs.  We do believe that at some point adoptions will slow significantly down, or even stop in Ethiopia (it is the trend with international adoption for the process to ebb and flow).  If that happens, not only will children not find loving families to take care of them, but all of these jobs and humanitarian work would go away. 

After the propaganda presentation from CHSFS, we went back to the care center, picked up our kids, and brought them back to the guest house.  We did not get them overnight yet, just for the afternoon.  We brought Abera up to our room, laid him down on our bed and played with him.

 We got some good pictures and were able to feed him on our own for the first time and generally got to know him a bit better.  It was a good afternoon.  With his crazy hair and funny looks, he easily made us smile.

Below is another short video of us at the care center with Abera.

After a while we went upstairs to find Patrick, Danielle and Tegagn.  We got some good pictures with the two boys but soon it was time to take the kids back to the guest house.  I decided to let Michele take him back while I stayed back to take a quick nap.  I slept so hard that I was entirely confused as to what day it was when I woke up.  It took me a minute, but finally figured it out that it was evening and dinner was coming up soon.

Most of the travel group went to a traditional Ethiopian dinner, the same place they had gone when they traveled a month ago.  However Danielle and Patrick were not that interested in going and convinced us to stay home with them.  So we stayed back, along with another family, and the cooks made the six of us a couple of pizzas.  We had a nice quiet dinner together with good conversation.

After dinner Patrick, Danielle, Michele and I went up to Metro Pizza for some drinks.  It is nice to have a place to escape to for a night that is in walking distance.  We sat in their bar area and enjoyed St. George's.  They played a DVD of 80's love ballads with Whitney Houston, Michael Bolton, Roxette and many more.  It was fun to hear and see these videos so far from home.  We got a lot of laughs from the songs.  We had a great conversation, ranging from our experience so far, adoptions in general and basic getting to know each other stories.  While looking at the bar, I noticed they had some Teacher's Whisky.  When we traveled to pick up Mehandis, our group stopped at a grocery store that has a liquor section and Michele purchased Teacher's Whisky as our drink for the week.  We got a kick out of the name and our cheapness, forgoing the more expensive liquor.  So I had to get us shots of the Teacher's.  So the bartender poured us our drinks and we got to enjoy our taste of Ethiopia.

We stayed out until 9PM and walked back to our guest house.  We used the house computer and sent a quick e-mail to our parents to let them know that we were OK and everything was going great.   We soon retired to our room, read in bed and went to sleep around 10:30.